AIN'S JOURNAL!
hi red
AINEOP.
AINEOP.
hi red
been very hungry lately even though ive been eating the same stuff i always have. hope i stop looking like a stick that fell off a tree
ive been so inactive here i need to fix that
i should reaaaallly be more careful with what i put here
WHY IS THE CODE SO FUCKED UP. i am THIS CLOSE TO REDOING THE ENTIRE SITE
u ever start writing an entry about a Weird Friend Group Situation and u get dmed about it as ur typing
uggghhhhh whys resetting ur roblox pin so hard. fuck u and ur unclear instructions daisy
i was looking for some of my oc lore in me and my brothers dms but then i found an old conversation about our dad and it made. me so fucking mad. 'he's just trying to get your loving attention' how about i bash your face in with a hammer. he didnt ruin the name of a type of candy or math teachers for me for you to say hes just trying to get 'my loving attention' WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT EVEN MEANS. he didnt threaten to kick me out for having human emotions he didnt like or grab my ass or demand i kiss him on the lips for him to do something a normal father would do anyway for that spoiled fucking brat to say 'he's just trying to get your loving attention but ok' im going to break his glasses.
this site needs a massive fucking overhaul and i might just do it. anyways i may just be a butch lesbian. i like the Idea of dating a guy but...... i think if i cant tell any two guys apart that i dont like them after all. eh. until i figure that out completely ill just play it safe and call myself sapphic
i LOVE making comics. genuinely. its the best thing ive done for myself ever. ive tried writing and it was fun and ive tried drawing and it was also fun but combining them. THAT'S my preferred medium LETS FUCKING GO.
i get so blissed out playing guitar that i dont notice that im holding the neck really uncomfortably until i drop my pick into my guitar and my left hand feels like its about to snap in half
i just saw a gravity falls lyric comic on tumblr that completely changed my life im now reevaluating my worldview how's your tuesday night going
did i miss my own site's anniversary
im aso silly :3
never mind i hate life (my leg hurts)
randomly threw up while biking today LMAO!!!!!! anyways i love life genuinely. i love conversations with kind strangers i love walking in the rain i love inside jokes and yummy food i love being alive.
agagagagagagagagagagaga
happy pride month. i might name myself sometihng dumb asf like chipper. inspired by an inside joke w my brother. i also cant name myself august anymore cuz i just remembered my friend has an oc named that and itd be MAD WEIRD
just failed my eye exam LMAO
woooh it's eid. fortunately the preacher didnt say 'brothers and sisters' so loudly that it felt like it was directed to me in particular this time. but aside from that. my mother called me 'kid' instead of 'daughter' to the cashier today while explaining my allergies. it was probably bc i have short hair and she didnt want any questions about me but HEY. A WIN IS A WIN. some less desirable news abut my short hair though. since it's eid im gonna be on call with my various relatives in indonesia. i feel like theyre gonna judge me for my hair. OH WELL. also i REALLY REALLY like the name august.
i've been having Thoughts about my gender lately. like. i definitely am nonbinary. agender. whatever. but also maybe i'm a guy too??? whenever i think of passing i think "okay so how do i look like a guy." but he/him is just as Wrong as she/her for me. maybe i'm fuckin bigender? maybe ive internalized enbyphobia or something? can you be sapphic and transmasc at the same time? who KNOWS dude. who fucking KNOWS.
im also considering masc names like hal or august. but. im also perfectly fine with my legal name and my current online name. but what if. what if.
why does my period keep appearing at the goofiest times. my brother's birthday, the day before my own birthday, april fucking fools...
dude i cant say a single thing in the gc without completely misreading the vibe and fucking up its UNREAL. how have these people put up with me for two years
me sitting down to finish that essay about julius ceasar or whatever: okay a week of procrastination is long enough!!! lets do the thing !!! *gets shaken by the unfathomable urge to draw some cool shiny objects*
why does my mom think everything i do is about her. why does my dad think everything i do is about him or my brother. why is my brother the only one i know irl that sees me as my own goddamn person. fshfghdgfg sorry for filling this page w rants but hey youre reading this of your own volition
love how i only listen to one pop song/album every time i feel horrendous and awful. like the song the light is coming anf the album igor are literally ruined for me theyre now forever linked to feeling terrible and spiraling dawg
why cant i watch a fucking math course without wanting to cry
just completed all my six essays i had to do. it only took. one month. my ass is not gonna survive college bro
i love being active i love being tired in the good way i love parks i love almost crashing into people wait a second
just did the most kickass thing my helicopter parented ass will ever get to do in my youth (i went to dollar tree)
i AM going to last a day in the real world!!!!!!
a utdr art post of mine got nearly 130 notes. thats 130 more notes than i usually get
(7:32pm)vent i removed!!! lma!!!
"ooh you're such a dramatic drama queen!!! you're so ungrateful and unlikeable!!!!" okay mrs. i-think-locked-doors-are-a-personal-attack-on-me. for someone who's 46 you are so fucking immature
there were 2 vents today but i removed them as always LMAO!!!!!!!
me when i cant do anything academic thats more hands on than multiple choice questions because my dad punished me by making me study when i was like 7 because yeah that wont fester any negative association at all. im not going to last a day in the real world
might overhaul some of these pages. this site is so. uniform and boring. i gotta fix that!
thinking about taking up knitting
The human body is more fragile than we think. It is a wonder how we are not all deceased by now. ← scraped xer knee trying to bike and is sad about it
been absolutely fighting for my life the whole week
i can ride a bike 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
and i joined in the gc's third ut conversation of the week without being weird about it like i always end up being when my current obsession is mentioned once 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT UNDERTALE AGAIN. BUT I CANNOT INSERT MYSELF INTO THIS CONVERSATION. I. AM GOING TO DRAW. UNDYNE AGAIN.
me when the group chat is talking about undertale and i want to join in so bad but im worried i'll come off as overenthusiastic and annoying and also end up ranting about how misunderstood papyrus is. fighting for my life rn. absolutely writhing seething. i need to get this out of my system im gonna draw undertale fanart. i love utdr so much man. but like. everyones gonna find me so cringe!!!!!!!! man its not my fault i decided to finally play undertale at the start of goddamned fall!!!!!!!! when i am sad!!!!!! i love utdr!!!!!! i do not know where i was going with this!!!!!!!!!! i love utdr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i tried to learn how to ride a bike today everyone was mocking me and i wanted to die about 10 minutes in slash half joking
im gonna fucking kill someone over these colroed pensilcls
switched to firefox today best decision of my life fr
algebra is kicking my balls so hard rn. like when will i ever need to Solve the following absolute value equation. huh.
im a year older. cant sleep
hello people that are not here. i just had the most wackass day ever. so its the day before my birthday right? my family's dragging me to get a cake at the place we usually get cakes every year. and i start my period a week early because my body is so homophobic. so we get on the train and its delayed because a bridge shit itself this morning so im like ok no big deal. so we go get the cake right. then we go back like two hours later and they still havent fixed it and now theres a fucking signal issue so my ass is just shivering on the platform for like half an hour (exaggeration) and then the train comes and then we're waiting for the bus and then it takes another half hour (exaggeration) and it was so fucking cold my ass was freezing you would not believe it. so homophobic of public transit today tbh :pensive:
god i had the funnest idea ever for a page here to make when it isnt 11:30 pm. so theres a comic i make at midnight that ive showed no one because its physically in my sketchbook. i was thinking of making a page thats just a wholeass tour of the characters in that's apartment. wouldnt that be funny
Can you believe it guys? My birthday, just eight days away. My birthday is in eight days! Woohoo! I am so happy about this information. My birthday! Just eight days away, oh wow. Can you believe it? My birthday! Just in eight days! It got here so fast! My birthday! Just eight days away!
this was a vent but i removed it a good 10 hours later
i feel so tired and also restless and generally weird. probably because i made myself draw animatic frames for five hours straight. i guess i should like. not do that
this post i made about christmas
DUDE these raccoons have got to stop destroying my ceiling in the middle of the night. THERE IS SAWDUST ON MY GUITAR CASE!!!!
ngl i wanna make a page for books that i like. escapology and virology (respectively) both by ren warom, once & future and the sword in the stars (respectively) by amy rose capetta and cori mccarthy. those duologies just scratch an itch in my brain man.
STOP PUTTING I DESERVE TO BLEED BY SUSHI SOUCY IN CHARACTER PLAYLISTS! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK PUT IT IN THEIR CHARACTER PLAYLISTS, ON YOUTUBE IT'S FUCKING I DESERVE TO BLEED! I was listening to a character playlist, right? and ALL OF THE SONGS were just I Deserve To Bleed. I-I showed my favorite character to my girlfriend and I explained all their lore and I said "hey babe, what if I put I Deserve To Bleed in their playlist" I fucking looked at the most happy character and said "WHAT IF I PUT I DESERVE TO BLEED IN THEIR PLAYLIST?"
i changed the whole layout woohoo
dawg i kinda forgot i had this
(1/16/23) this said something that my friend read aloud in call so i removed it because in retrospect it was way too goofy to put on a public journal. you know who you are. slash not mad slash lighthearted
feeling cute might try to make a whole ass rpg
its the halloween season. literally the one holiday i can stand.
like seriously. the christian ones are a no-go, i do not pay attention during the muslim ones, valentines day is just straight people awareness day, new years always goes horribly as of these past few years, but halloween? spooky? that's something i can get behind!
its officially fall as of yesterday which means its THERE ARE RACCOONS IN THE CEILING TRYING TO GET INTO MY ROOM SEASON. god. of course i get this room.
do you rememba
help i like undertale.... in 2022......
i always said i like the colder months more but these past few years i have had the most atrocious falls and winters in my life
im attempting to learn guitar again. for like the 5th time. its not like i knew how before i just gave up trying to learn!!! this time i found a free online course though so that might help. maybe.
i finished undertale..................................... in 2022...............
oh yeah finally got a desk in my room so now i dont have to do things in the middle of the living room while my parents are talking extremely loudly even though the apartment is so small you can hear anyone thats whispering. desk wobbles a bit but its a small price to pay for A Shred Of God Damn Privacy
if your drink needs 385 grams of sugar in order to taste good then maybe you should reconsider your drink
i saw a dead patch of grass that looked exactly like texas on the way home
There was no Lucky Star manga at the library.
bruh i thought i only felt super horrendous when i was PMSy
hypixel skyblock is actually pretty fun when i actually know what tf im doing
those periods sure can cramp
bro lucky star is so good???? i only found out about it because this one mf on tumblr reblogged an out of touch thursday thing or something and i was curious what the anime was because i thought that was the actual theme song so i googled it and found it. i dont know what it is about it,,,, it's just so appetizing. like the artstyle,,,,,,, the general carefree lack of plot!!!! i know its from a decade ago but DAMN. its so MEDIOCRE but in a ridiculously wonderful way. maybe its just my repressed desire to be a teenage girl with a reliable friend group that actually goes to school..... you know. i've been drawn to femininity ever since i realized i was nonbinary. you know? like now that im not confined to being feminine in the girl way now i really want to be feminine in the nonbinary way. do you get it? anyways shows never hold my attention for long but its just one season. i might binge it through my whole period.
maybe i could find the manga in my local library. again though. there are cons that come from liking a piece of media most popular 10 fuckin years ago.
winged pads would be the best if the wings worked